So recently my blog went down for around a week. It was all to do with a domain name thing and some technical issues with google.admin. I struck up rather lengthy dialogue with someone called David at google support whom lacked a sense of humour (he really didn't get me) and these useless, robotic like conversations often left me frustrated to the point of tears. Pair that with a particularly long and rather pressure filled week at work and you've got a recipe for one sensitive little soul. Extreme exhaustion and dealing with a fuck load of stress from all sides leaves you prone to tears, tantrums and irritability in the extreme (not to mention the odd involuntary nap attack). Now the blog is back up (I fixed it... yay me!) I figure I'd do a little post on a realisation i've come to in recent months, at times like this there's one really important thing to remember...
... IT'S NOT PERSONAL.
Everything coming at you, 'against' you, it's not personal. People are at the mercy of their situations, if someone is putting you in a tight spot at work likelihood is that someone else has their bollocks in a grasp. Some total cow making you feel like shit? What's the bet they are totally insecure about themselves eh? It doesn't excuse it. It doesn't make it ok. And yes... some people really are just fucking Grade A dickholes. However it pays to remember that the irritable check out person with no smile and no manners might have just had to deal with the customer from hell, and they really don't need to be faced with another one. Instantly reacting to someone who's has mistreated you in some way with an aggressive or defensive response isn't the way to go. It just continues the chain of negativity. Try and be the one to break that chain. Offer a hand of kindness and see if you can't turn someones frown upside down. It's way more beneficial to everyone than spiteful words and a heart full of rage. That said... don't be walked over. You are not a doormat. There's a difference between someones being a poopey head because they've had a bad day and someone who's being an inconsiderate arse.
What's more my wonderful human beans, it work's both ways. when you've had a nasty-ass time of things you're more likely to snap at people, be less tolerant of others. Behaviours that maybe normally vaguely annoy you suddenly drive you totally bonkers and it's all you can do not to lash out at those nearest and dearest. Keeping a lid on it when strangers piss you off is a whole other ball game. Strong will and lip biting becomes essential. You aren't a bad person. You're just trying to float elegantly along the big canal of life while your feet flail madly beneath you and sometimes you get a bit of old wet newspaper wrapped round your face and start lashing around trying to get rid of that fucker so you can be on your way again. That newspaper blinds you, all heavy and horrible over your eye, and you might mistakingly strike out at those who are trying to help. <<< Worst metaphor ever.
Give yourself a break. Shit happens. Try and avoid turning into the hulk or reducing yourself to tears over a help forum (*ahem*) and if you do slip over and into angry red face emoji territory though, apologise to those you need to and attempt to address the real issues. Work out what's stressing you out, making you sad, and do what you can to stop / avoid it. What's more, do what makes you happy. Stupid statement I know. Seems obvious right? But it's not. Sometimes we really need to remind ourselves thats it's ok to just be selfish for a bit. To put yourself to rights before tackling the rest of the world.
This post was supposed to be a couple of short sentences. Ha. Oops. I really did barf up a bunch of nonsense this time around. I guess Lets Tessellate is one of my happy things and I'm just giving it some time. Go do the same pals. Love. xxx